In a Bullying discussion forum I belong to, someone recently asked the following question: What do you do if the Boss is the Bully?

My answer was this:

Like everything else in life, it all depends.

1. If the bullying is intentional and targeted towards you specifically, get out of that job ASAP regardless of the cost. Your life and well being will depend on it. Research shows long-lasting, life-altering negative reactions to targeted bullying.

2. If you’re not a ‘target’ but rather just subject to a boor who happens to be in management, find a strategic way to talk about it with him/her. In the initial stages of your relationship, taking a calm and very clear approach will actually work. For example: “There have been a number of times where you critiqued my work harshly in front of my peers. This is damaging to my reputation and well being. Please know that I will not tolerate being ridiculed in public. If this continues, I’ll be forced to take action”. If this doesn’t help, go to HR, or take it further up the organizational hierarchy.

3. If that doesn’t help, see point No. 1 above.

PS In a couple of weeks I’ll be travelling to Cardiff, Wales for the 6th International Conference on Workplace Bullying, and look forward to sharing with y’all the the latest-hottest-relevantest info!

In a couple of weeks I’ll be speaking at a conference attended by decision makers from organizations across Canada, and in the course of preparing, I’m revisiting bullying-related data, which may be useful to you.  

Bullying is characterised by persistent, intense `negative acts’, where the targets feel unable to defend themselves. Bullying does not necessarily have to be intentional. Its effects on the victim and on bystanders are typically devastating, and extended sick leaves are often present. Here’s some of the specific symptoms and their prevalence, according to a study by the Workplace Bullying Institute:

Severe anxiety  – 76%

Disrupted sleep – 71%

Loss of concentration – 71%  

Post-traumatic stress disorder – 47%

Clinical depression – 39%  

Panic attacks – 32%

Most of the symptoms were experienced for the first time only after the bullying began.   

Needless to say, these symptoms have obvious implications for safety, customer service, innovation, teamwork and retention of talent.  And if you add to this information the data that I included in my last blog pertaining to the abysmal state of organizational response to bullying, well, then, it can be quite depressing!

(PS for more interesting data on bullying, see http://php/wordpress/?p=126)

Dr. Garie Namie collected some enlightening data  from some 800 bullying targets who visited the Institute for Workplace Bullying website.

One the most interesting questions was: When the employer was told about the bulling, what did the employer do?

Here are the responses… ready?

• 1.7% – conducted fair investigation and protected target from further bullying, with negative consequences for the bully
• 6.2% – conducted fair investigation with negative consequences for the bull, but no safety for the target
• 8.7% – inadequate/unfair investigation; no consequences for bully or target
• 31% – inadequate/unfair investigation; no consequences for bully but target was retaliated against
• 12.8% – employer did nothing; ignored the complaint; no consequences for bully or target
• 15.7% – employer did nothing; target was retaliated against for reporting the bullying but kept job
• 24% – employer did nothing; target was retaliated against and eventually lost job

In  short, a whopping 52.5% of employers did nothing, and another 29.7% conducted inadequate investigations!

If you’re reading this and thinking `this must be inaccurate’, let me inform you that my observations in various sectors lead me to believe that this data is pretty accurate.

Even in our own wonderful Canada.

Let’s say that you just observed a behaviour in the workplace that somehow made you uncomfortable, where your gut tells you that maybe some offensive line was crossed. Or heaven help us! –  let’s say that it was you who said or did something that makes you wonder whether you’ve just crossed that elusive line between `appropriate’ and `inappropriate’.

But you’re not really sure. The more you mull it over, the less sure you are.

You’re not alone. These `grey’ harassment situations are very difficult to diagnose. And if we don’t diagnose properly, we also cannot take intelligent action.

Here’s a little tool that you can use as a litmus test (it’s one of several easy-to-apply tools that I devised and teach that help diagnose harassment). I call it “The Twist”, and here’s how it works:  take one fact related to the situation, change it (=twist) and then see whether the answer to `was the line crossed’ becomes clearer.

Here’s an example based on a real-life situation:

A well-liked colleague has a strong French accent. It’s actually cute and endearing and everyone comments on it on a regular basis, mostly fondly. One day as you’re listening to that colleague’s presentation to a large group, another colleague whispers to you: “hey, what do you think – is she speaking English or French right now?”. You feel uncomfortable and confused by this comment, but not sure how to react.

This is a great opportunity to use `The Twist”! Ask yourself, “if this person had another type of accent (Chinese, Arab, Indian….), would it be okay to make these comments?”. If your answer is `no’, then diagnostically the line between `appropriate’ and `inappropriate’ had been crossed. The comments about the French accent should probably cease.

Typical situation to use The Twist might be:

When people are making fun of a male trait, twist it by asking “would we allow the same comments about females”?.

When it’s a joke or comment about low weight, would it be okay to make a similar comment about being overweight? .

When it’s a joke/comment about a generally-respected group (say, catholic), would it be okay if the same comment were directed toward a more vulnerable religion (Muslims, say, or Jews)?

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