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Reverse Mentoring

When we think about `mentoring’ we often think of “an influential senior sponsor or supporter” or “a wise and trusted counsellor or teacher”. The implication is always that the mentor is older and has more life experience.

But here’s an exciting, alternative type of mentor we can seek: the reverse mentor!

Tom Kelley, general manager of the design firm IDEO, suggests in a magazine interview that the more `mature’ crowd (AKA `persons over the age of forty’) might greatly benefit from finding someone younger and more plugged in to use as a resource and guide.

Technology is of course one natural area where the younger crowd can lead and teach others. Anyone with a teen-aged kid can tell you that. But it really goes well beyond that: younger people have different ways of viewing the world and a different set of paradigms that guide their thinking. The freshness they bring to the table, the unique expertise, and the often unbridled enthusiasm can be incredible resources, both personally and professionally.

In fact, `mentors’ can be found in unusual places…. in my own life, potent learning took place when I allowed myself to view the world through the lenses that my very young daughter was using. As young as one year old, I learned new ways of seeing things through this unexpected teacher.

So I invite you to join me in looking around you and asking yourself: where can you find that unanticipated, reverse mentor? What can you learn from them? How will you allow that to change you? And what can you offer in return?

Good luck!

Boosting Resilience Series, Part 3 (video)

Consider this: have you ever found yourself regretting the moment that you said `yes’ rather than politely declining? (and no, this blog had not suddenly turned into a sex-education forum!)

You may have said `yes’ because at the time it seemed easier than saying `no’. Maybe it was because of the dynamics of the specific relationship, or maybe you just didn’t know how to say it right and without suffering undesirable consequences.

Resilience means knowing when and how to say `no’. In the short video below you’ll find tips on saying `no’ successfully. Enjoy!

Boosting Resilience Series, Part 2 (video)

If you’re feeling out of sorts, tired, or even asking yourself tough questions about how meaningful your existence really is, chances are that your life is out of balance. Needless to say, your resilience is probably also out of whack. In this short video you’ll discover a three-step process for getting yourself disentangled from the forces that tip your balance and reconnecting with your True North. Enjoy!

(PS this video series is a pilot – any suggestions you have will be most appreciated.)

Boosting Resilience Series, Part 1 (video)

Maintaining personal resilience is a life-long challenge. This is especially true when we face changes in the organizations we’re part of. Yes, I’m referring to those changes that we usually have little or no control over and that never seem to arrive at the right time, size or shape!

This three-part video-based series kicks off with tips for boosting your “change resilience”. Enjoy – and remember that I welcome your feedback on this new format!

Questions that Simplify

Having just returned from a marvellous vacation visiting old friends in Southern France, I’ve had an opportunity to re-observe how competently the French keep their sanity. They too have complex, demanding realities, yet they keep a steady focus on pleasure, good food and friendship. Life somehow seems simpler.

In sharp contrast, in our culture we erode our resilience and sense of joy by taking on too much.

So, in the spirit of emulating the French, here are a few simplifying questions to ask yourself whenever the temptation hits to load yet another something onto your plate:

  • Is this going to simplify or complicate my life right now?
  • Does this fit with my True North (i.e. my true priorities and the legacy I want to leave)?
  • What would an old, wise me advise me to do right now?
  • In six months, will I think I did the right thing in adding this to my plate?

You Are a Bully If…

You may be a bully and not even know it. While some bullies actively target their victims in malicious, planned ways, most bullies have no clue that others view them as such! 

So, in the service of honest self-examination, I invite you to use the following questions to ascertain whether you may, unfortunately, be a bully. (Note: this is not a full, comprehensive list).

Do you ever…

1.    Ignore the opinions of others, especially in public
2.    Withhold information from others that may affect their performance
3.    Remind others of their errors or mistakes
4.    Humiliate or ridicule other people’s work
5.    Engage in gossip and rumours
6.    Make insulting/offensive remarks about others
7.    Ignore, exclude or isolate others
8.    Criticize other people’s work and effort
9.    Tease or make sarcastic comments
10.   Demonstrate spontaneous anger (possibly raising your voice, even shouting)
11.   Claim other people’s work as yours
12.   Make practical jokes
 

If you answered `yes’ to any of the questions, there’s a good chance that you are a bully.

My suggestion: shape up ASAP! 

(PS for the effects of bullying on others and on the business, visit the Resources section on my website   
 

The Call That Tells It All

Recently I received a voicemail message from an HR Director inquiring about my training services. When I called back, the receptionist answered in a somewhat abrupt fashion. In an upbeat way I asked for the person I was looking for. Without uttering a word or friendly sound (none of that customary “I’ll transfer you now” or any variation of that), the receptionist transferred me to the requested person.

At that moment, I had a pretty educated guess about the type of services I’d be asked to deliver.

If you were in that same situation, what would you have guessed?

If your answer was “Respectful Workplace training” or “Harassment training”, you’d be 100% right!

Incivility in the workplace has a nasty habit of showing up in the most undesirable places, such as customer service (see more effects). It took only one routine interaction with the receptionist for me to determine that had I been seeking the type of services that this company offers, I would take my business elsewhere.

Here’s an invitation: look around your own organization and ask yourself: where is incivility rearing its ugly, usually-unaddressed face?  What effects is it having? And most importantly, what can be done about it?

(And if I may add…. remember that we’re, of course, always happy to help – with training, coaching and consultation!)

 

We’re here to help, anytime.

Top 7 Self-Sabotage Behaviours @ Work

Recently I’ve developed a program that helps people identify their own `shoot myself in the foot’ workplace behaviours. People engage in all kinds of behaviours without realizing how harmful they are to their professional image and how they may be inadvertently limiting their own career advancement.

Here are seven self-sabotaging behaviours at work that made it to the top of my list:

1. Being in a bad mood – and showing it

2. “Going on partial strike” when you’re unhappy with something

3. Gossiping

4. Being friendly with some, while ignoring or marginalizing others (Or: Treating your superiors better than you treat colleagues)

5. Whining and complaining when the company does something nice for you

6. Being chronically late to meetings

7. Making others feel bad by dismissing their ideas

 

So, which of these did you engage in lately? and how do you plan to stop it?

Latest Incivility Data

In the April 2009 Edition of the Harvard Business Review, lead researchers Porath & Pearson summarize a decade-worth of research on common (and generally tolerated) antisocial behaviour at work.

The behaviours studied include things such as berating bosses, or employees who take credit for others’ work, assign blame, spread rumours or exclude teammates from networks.

To understand the impact of incivility on performance, they polled several thousand managers and employees from a diverse range of U.S. companies and learned that among those on the receiving end:

48% decreased their work effort,
47% decreased their time at work,
38% decreased their work quality,
66% said their performance declined,
80% lost work time worrying about the incident,
63% lost time avoiding the offender

As a manager or colleague, what are YOU doing to stop incivility at work?
And, if you think honestly about your own behaviour: have you personally modeled incivility at work over the last while?

To see more statistics on this topic, go to “The Business Case for a Respectful Workplace” article at http://www.sharonbardavid.com.

Finally, many thanks to my colleague Don Herald who brought these latest stats to my attention!

 

Need help with challenges in your organization? Don’t hesitate to contact us

Traffic and Stress

New German research found that heart attack victims are three times more likely to have been in heavy traffic within an hour before having the attack. This holds true even for those who rode bicycles or took public transportation.

Interestingly, females were five times more likely than men to suffer a heart attack within an hour after exposure to traffic.

Subjects in the study who had the highest risk of susceptibility to traffic were those in otherwise high risk groups, such as those with a history of angina, were unemployed or were elderly males.

The reasons for this connection have not yet been studied. It could be due to pollution from traffic fumes, or it could be the result of increased stress of driving in heavy traffic. It’s possible the link with traffic is just a coincidence.

But here’s what I know for sure: in all of my Stress Resilience workshops, people point to traffic as a daily source of stress. We don’t need research to tell us that getting all worked up about someone cutting into the lane in front of you causes unnecessary stress and upset.

So here’s my advice: adopt a Zen-like approach to traffic. I have personally adopted this approach several years ago and it’s made a huge difference to my life. Why not try it too?

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